What's Your Dream Career

Ask any kid ages four through 10 what they want to be when they grow up and they will give you no less than five answers. They are full of imagination. They are full of promise. They are completely unaware of any limits. The sky is the limit.

Ask any 30-something what they want to be when they grow up and mostly the answers are full of, “I don’t know.” I get it. We put all kinds of limits on ourselves, and before we know it, we can put ourselves in a very small box of possibility.

Often times we wake up on a Monday and ask ourselves, “Now what?!” Whether you’re in a career you thought would be a dream, but the reality is more of a nightmare, or if you “fell into” a career that makes you look around and say “Who’s life am I living?” (I’ve been there, done that, too!), there are a few things you can try to help you get back in-line with your purposeful and passionate career.

Ask yourself the following: What would you do, if you lived without the fear of disappointment?

Really, so many of us don’t follow our dreams because someone told us it was crazy. Maybe it was a parent, maybe a teacher, maybe you started to doubt yourself. If you could do anything, and know that no one would feel anything but pride in the sheer fact that you are following your dream, what would that be?

·         Maybe you’ve always wanted to teach art? Maybe you’ve dreamed of snorkeling the barrier reef? Maybe you want to teach hip-hop dance or be a baker? Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being the next Oprah (not that I know anything about that dream). Write down what your dream job is, and then own it!

·         After you own your passion, then I want you to write down any and all excuses you can think of as to why you can’t do it. I mean get it all out.

·         Done? Now, take that paper and destroy it! Burn it, shred it, throw it, do whatever you need to do to get rid of it.

·         Now, grab a new piece of paper, and write out a new list of not why, but how it can happen. List the big and small steps you would need to do to start seeing your dream job become a reality. Let’s say you’ve always wanted to be a baker. Do you have to rent a kitchen, open a store-front, and pay thousands of dollars for advertising all in one week?

Absolutely not! Maybe, you could just start by baking your signature cupcakes and taking them to a fire station with a thank you note. Maybe you could post a picture of your cupcakes on Facebook to let your friends know how much of a cupcake queen/king you are. You can start somewhere. Start with the easiest, and keep moving.

One of my other favorite exercises is to set a timer (2-5 minutes), and write down all of the things that people thank you for or tell you that you’re good at. Then, reset the timer and write down things you think anyone can do. Please don’t censor yourself… there is no such thing as something stupid or not “career-worthy”. (Note: I made a ton of extra cash in college pet sitting for people when they went out of town. Anyone could do it, but I actually did it.)  Anything is possible.

Use both of your lists and look for common threads. Do you get acknowledged for having amazing handwriting, and think anyone can write well? I have terrible handwriting, so if you have amazing handwriting, totally own it! See if there might be a way for you to monetize that skill. People pay good money for someone to beautifully address wedding invitations, or create hand-written pieces of art. Do some research, and see if there is something you can do that’s based on something you’re:  

1. Good at,

2. Like to do.

Then start doing it. Again, don’t over-think this, just get going. Regardless of where you are in your journey, it’s never too late (or too early) to start to discover your passion and turn that into a career. Yes, it requires some work. Yes, you’ll have to dig a little deeper, and do some serious soul-searching, but I promise you, it’s totally worth it!

So, tell me, what’s your dream career?

Accepting Change

One thing I am asked a lot is how to deal with change. Change in relationships. Change at work. Change in mindset. Change with family. Change is universal. I’m a champion for change. I truly believe we all have the capacity to make changes to create an experience we desire. But, I know, change can be hard.

The last few months I’ve experienced a lot of changes in my professional field. To name a few: new leadership, new styles, new initiatives, and a new boss. I’ve had to give myself a dose of my own medicine and a million pep talks to navigate through these changes. I thought I’d share some of my best tips for dealing with any change:

1.     Accept the reality. Sometimes change happens outside of our control. There are some things you cannot change. Instead of burying your head in the sand (I tried it, it doesn’t work) just accept that the change is happening. Note: this does not mean you 100% agree with the change, just that you are aware of its existence.

2.     Be emotional. I’ve cried a lot the last few months about the changes. I’ve said not nice things about the changes to my support system. I’ve journaled about it. I’ve processed it. I bought a really expensive purse thinking it might help. I’ve worked through a whole series of emotions. What I learned from doing that is no emotion is more valid than the other. They all have their place in the process. I’ve also learned not to judge myself for the emotions I’m having. Feeling anything less than joy doesn’t make you a bad person… it makes you human.

3.     Be logical. Right along with the emotions, there is a sense of logic that has to play a part. This is where I see a lot of people fall when they are going through change. So, don’t just quit your job because you don’t like the change if you don’t have some kind of back-up plan… that’ll lead to a whole different kind of change that is even less fun. Have some sense in the actions you take, but don’t be so logical that you won’t take a risk… a calculated risk. Set goals. Create an action plan. Give yourself a deadline. Whatever it takes to add some logical sense to your mindset.

4.     Breathe. I spend a lot of time and energy trying to be very intentional about my breathing. It calms me down. It gives me space. It gives me the opportunity to respond instead of react. Breathing is your friend during change. It will support you in ways you can’t imagine. Your energy comes from your breathing. The first thing I learned when I started practicing yoga was learning to control your breath can teach you how to have more control in your life. I practice a simple 4-7-8 breathing technique. Breathe in through your nose for four counts. Hold for seven counts. Breathe out through your mouth for eight counts. I do four rounds of this, and it is a game changer. PS- I also use this when I can’t fall asleep!

5.     Gratitude. I normally write three things a day for which I’m thankful. In moments of change, uncertainty, and chaos, I write a full page. This allows me to focus on all the great, wonderful abundance I already have, and also opens me up to receiving more. On one particularly rough day, I wrote three pages. Focus on the good, and you may even be surprised when, one day, the change you’re going through shows up in your gratitude journal.

6.     Recognize change is an opportunity for growth. When you are experiencing change it gives you an opportunity to evaluate your values. What do you want from your life? Is this bringing you closer to your goals or further away? When you look at the change through your values, it can often show you a more positive outcome. Use the change as a catalyst to become more of the person you want to be.

7.     I always have a choice. This one is really powerful. You are not a tree. You are not stuck. The reality is: you can always make a different choice. Sometimes that choice is changing your mindset. Sometimes the choice is rejecting the change and moving on to something else. Sometimes the choice is accepting the change. Or a million other choices in between. You always have a choice. You may not always love the options, but the choice is always yours.

Change is inevitable. Misery is optional. For me, misery isn’t even on the table. So, I’m doing everything in my power to move through my changes as proactively as possible. Change has a way of waking you up to the life you’ve been living, and making you more aware of the life you could be living. As I’m working through changes in my life, I hope that it provides some insight on how to navigate your own change(s). What one tip can you implement today?

The Path from Knowing to Doing

It’s easy to know and understand what we should do:

·         We know we should exercise.

·         We know we should sleep more.

·         We know we should eat more whole foods.

·         We know we should be kind to others.

·         We know we should save more money.

·         We know we should show gratitude.

We understand on an intellectual level what we should do. Yet, we don’t always take the next step. For example, I believe overall health is a great idea. Am I actually practicing it? Am I sleeping 7-8 hours a night? Am I getting cardio and strength training in my workouts? Am I eating more fruits and vegetable instead of my beloved ice cream? No, not all the time. Okay, probably not most of the time. Yet, it’s not because I don’t know what to do.

Or, I always think back to a former boss who talked extensively about leadership and could recite the traits of a great leader. She could quote Stephen Covey and John Maxwell like they were her best friends, but showed zero of the traits herself. She knew a lot about leadership, but didn’t really “DO” leadership.

Knowing is easy. Most of us have access to an unlimited supply of information (via the internet) and can learn new information at the click of a button. We can spend hours learning information and even deeply know and comprehend information. Yet, we can still see little change.

What stops us from actually doing?

·         Confusion is a huge barrier. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with information that you couldn’t take action? I remember once my BFF called me to talk about how much research she’d done on painting her kitchen cabinets. She said she felt so overwhelmed that she decided to take a nap instead. That happens. Lack of clarity on first steps or next steps can hinder action.

·         Talking vs. doing. Another barrier to doing is equating talking about doing something as actually doing something. I’m going to let you in on a secret… I don’t love meetings. I love talking with people, and I love interaction that comes as a result of meetings. However, they normally last longer than necessary, and sometimes very little productivity come from them. People will mistake meetings with action. Meetings may be a step, but the action normally comes after. Sometimes, there is no after, which means lack of action.

·         The biggest barrier is fear. At the root of all of our inaction is fear. Fear of worthiness. Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. FEAR. Breaking through fear with a new belief is an essential key to success.

Mind the gap.

There is a tremendous gap between knowing and doing. The path to doing looks like this:

Knowledge → Belief → Decision → Emotion → Action.

All of those steps have to happen in order for us to move from simply knowing to doing.

·         Knowledge: We receive the information.

·         Belief: We develop a belief about our self and our ability to take action.

·         Decision: We decide whether or not we want to take action.

·         Emotion: We develop an emotion about the action. NOTE: Sometimes fear can be positive emotion here.

·         Action: Do what you know.

People tend to be unsuccessful when they try to skip a step in the process or avoid the process all together. Look at the path from knowing to doing, where do you feel stuck? What can you do today to shift from knowing to doing?